rolling tobacco
after having consumed my last pack of cigarettes from manila, i am now rolling tobacco. maybe i am smoking less now as it takes a long time before i can get my tobacco fix, which is better for my dancing. my body is beginning to feel the weariness of travel but i am not complaining this project has taught me a great deal about myself and tendencies as an artist. a good time to understand yourself especially as we pass through the “shall i kill myself before 27″ stage. its been awfully frustrating and strangely fulfilling at the same time. frustrated and lost, somehow we find how to re-affirm center and understand what moves this body. as of late i have been asking myself about the basic unit of dance and when dance is not moving or just speaking and talking, movement ceases to be the basic unit of dance. myra says dance is always about imagination. i am realizing that this is true, where to get the energy to move and do the work when the body just wants to rest…how to overcome our humanity and realize it at the same time…
…yesterday, i was tripping in shimokitazawa. i dont know why i feel so hyped about this area in tokyo. i guess because it feels unlike most of tokyo. narrow, winding streets. intimate cafes, no english menu. its good to somehow blend in the crowd, mistaken as a japanese, apologetic that i cannot speak japanese. i hope i can. i dont mind that people talk japanese around me. why not learn it anyway… slighting on a trippy mood after smoking in daikanyama with jacob, the breeze hitting my face. the mild but dry spring weather is good but where is the humidity. i am filipino i need some moisture. i miss the putrid, sea urchin smell of my jungle home. one more week, i hope not to slouch into the im done i want to move on mode and instead enjoy the last bits of what i have left in this city of 35 million people. meeting someone two weeks ago, i have come to accept the fact that bumping into him in throngs of milliion people crossing shibuya is quite an impossibility. today, is a build up of the performances to come. we are still not sure where we are going. i have learned to let go and instead live in the moment of dance. tomorrow you may never have it anyway…
