My Blog

now the sun is out after many weeks without it, after only rain and clouds and chilly wind. tokyo still amazes me this second time but also been going westwards and walking into small streets, old stores, little intimate shops/resturants. spending time on the train for more than an hour, is this the end of the world? also, great to be walking. still, i cannot allow myself to fully engage in this backpacker/hippie looking. where is my work, cramming inside my head and frustrated over the vastness of space around me, i struggle to find the perfect red suitcase. last saturday, i made the usual rounds of young people seeking sanctuary for their romantic, passionate and perverted fantasies. no-full, no-full, after seven tries we found one. my debut into this world that actually fascinated me. now i understand. now, i think i have become more sick and perverted. jacob says, donna is growing up. where could my car interior designer be now. no mobile, no email. absolutely casual. shocking yet liberating. what is there to have, anyway? how can we believe that who we choose is not but a random choice among millions of souls passing through this arbitrary world. but still i think of him, somewhere inside my pretentious hard heart is a wish that i bump into him among the throngs of people crossing Shibuya.

more than two weeks ago, i came in the cold. freezing and unsure if i was gonna make it. inside my chest wanted to cry out and go into my usual fit of hysteria but i found more satisfaction in resisting this involution. glad to be back with the bike, convinced of its therapeutic effect on my nerves i shall find a way to squeeze in a bike in the suicidal streets of my warm manila. now, i go and leave. two weeks has gone by so fast. kyoto is genteel and pleasant. just when i was beginning to find my ground and feel my way carelessly along the streets, tiny alley i have to temporarily leave. resume the nomad. now my restless body now yearns for light, sound, noise and more chaos, hello tokyo.